Yiddisher Bowie

I’m starting a band; a Klezmer David Bowie tribute band. I’m calling it Rebel Shmebel!

Yes, it’s the Jewish holy week of Passover and I’m finally revealing this long-gestated plan and putting out the call for band members.

So what exactly is Klezmer? Well, according to our old friend Google, here’s the definition…

klezmer noun Traditional Eastern European Jewish music, a musician who plays Klezmer music, plural noun: klezmorim

And here’s what it sounds like…

What’s on our playlist? Well, I’ve given it a lot of thought. We’ll have to open with Rebel Shmebel, our signature number, and then follow up with the classic Life on Matzos. We could try The Jean Rabbi (lives for Shabbat, loves a jeany kippah!) and Let’s Schvitz (grow out your payot and schvitz nigumim!). I’ve also been working on the epic ballad of Major Shlomo in Space Mishegoss, of course! Can you think of any more? Please leave any Yiddish Bowie titles in the comments section. I can’t get enough of them!

Bowie in his most famous incarnation, the Jewish spaceman Major Shlomo

So who’s with me? I’ll need someone on accordion and a hot clarinetist, as well as one of those box drums that you sit on. We’ll play weddings, barmitzvahs and funerals. If we’re really good, how about trying for Britain’s Got Talent?!

I couldn’t find any actual Klezmer Bowie on You Tube so here’s something of which I’m sure the Dame would have approved. Surely he was a Rammstein fan…

And here’s some rabbis singing Lou Reed…

Happy Passover everyone! Kraitt out!

PS Another reminder to click the link below to purchase my superb novel Black Moon for your preferred reading device. It’s great and it kicks off with a Bowie quote so what’s not to like!?

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And we’re back with a FREE GIFT!!

Hey strangers! Sorry about the long period of radio silence. For the very few of you suffering from a roblogtime-shaped hole in your empty lives, thank your lucky stars: I’m back and I’m blogging again!!

Regular readers will know that I started this here blog to tell you about, and then promote, a novel I wrote ten years ago and then left in a bottom drawer. So to celebrate my return to the blogosphere, I’m offering you – my dear readers – the opportunity to read this extraordinary tome about a teenager who loses his family, develops super powers, thinks he’s a werewolf and stumbles on a global conspiracy ABSOLUTELY FREE.

That’s right!

From Wednesday 28th February, simply hit the attractive book cover below and you’ll be taken to a famous online store where you’ll be able to download the amazing Black Moon without paying a penny. It’s just like Christmas all over again!

Better be quick now, blogsters! The offer only lasts until Sunday 4th March.

And that’s not all! I’m going to try really really hard to keep blogging – every week! So you’ll be able to read my musings on all sorts of things and help me make sense of this crazy planet. Who knows!? I might even try and write another book, and I’ll tell you all about that too. It’s all for free so don’t touch that dial!

So in celebration of this cat being back, here’s the return of another dude. Twin Peaks fans waited a bizarre 16 hours for this scene…

Don’t forget to come back next week for some bah humbug!

Kraitt out!

The Beatles’ Lost Album

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Last time, Rob used the natural phenomenon of the Black Moon as a shameless marketing opportunity. Now for something a little different…

A few weeks ago, my son James and I went on an outing to London to see the wonderful new movie Eight Days A Week: The Touring Years. For those of you that don’t know, the film is a documentary about the Beatles during their heyday when they were the biggest band in the world – and it’s pure joy. I’m not going to review it here. Peter Bradshaw in the Guardian says it better than I ever could: “A wave of euphoria and happiness pours from the screen, and [director Ron] Howard’s movie surfs that wave.” Read his review here.

James is twelve but has been a Beatles fan since he pilfered my Sergeant Pepper CD some years back (clever boy) so we spent the following few hours basking in our favourite bits and geeking out over the movie’s many treasures; speculating on what the Beatles would be doing now if all still alive (I’m certain Bob Geldof would have got them back together for Live Aid!).

This speculation led to us setting ourselves a fun exercise: to put together our own Beatles album from the solo work released following their break-up. It should sound something like a Beatles record released around 1974, with two sides like a real LP and a title. We also set a loose formula (from which I strayed): four Lennons, four McCartneys, two Harrisons and a Ringo!

So here are our lost Beatles albums:

DREAM AWAY by James

Side 1: Cold Turkey (Lennon), Gimme Some Truth (Lennon), Monkberry Moon Delight (McCartney), Working Class Hero (Lennon), Wah Wah (Harrison)

Side 2: Let Me Roll It (McCartney), I Dig Love (Harrison), Crippled Inside (Lennon), It Don’t Come Easy (Starr), On You (McCartney), All Things Must Pass (acoustic from Beatles Anthology, Harrison)

SHINE ON, EVERYONE by Rob

Side 1: Instant Karma (Lennon), Let ‘Em In (McCartney), Crippled Inside (Lennon), Six O’Clock (Starr), You (Harrison)

Side 2: #9 Dream (Lennon), Another Day (McCartney), How? (Lennon), If Not For You (Harrison), Maybe I’m Amazed (McCartney)

We’ve playlisted them up so you can listen to them on Spotify (technology, eh?). Just follow the links:

DREAM AWAY

SHINE ON, EVERYONE

We’re rather proud of our efforts, and it was great to hear some of John, Paul, George and Ringo’s solo adventures for the first time. I’m particularly impressed at how edgy James has gone with his album (and Working Class Hero is an epic pick!).

What would you choose? What’s on your Beatles lost album? Feel free to tell us in the comments section, or on Facebook.

Until next time. Shine on, everyone!

Kraitt out

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If you enjoyed The Beatles’ Lost Album, check out some more of my other posts at Roblogtime. You can also read my self-published novel Black Moon, available now on Amazon Kindle. For more details, visit the Black Moon website at www.black-moon.online.