As the home-made paper hearts flutter down after Mother’s Day and we prepare for the chocolate siege of Easter, I can’t help feeling like a mealy-mouthed curmudgeon in my creaky middle age. The thing is: I’m bah humbug about this constant need to celebrate something!
Just look at our calendar now. Before we’ve recovered from Christmas, we’re headlong into Valentine’s Day, and then the shops are cleared for Mother’s Day before St Patrick’s Day (since when did we all become Irish!?) and a now extended Easter followed by Father’s Day – thankfully a blessed break over the summer – then we’re already forced to start our Christmas shopping in September, although there’s a fortnight hiatus over Halloween when we all briefly become Pagans. It won’t be long before Comic Relief Day and Graham Norton’s Birthday are declared public holidays. And why are we constantly being forced back into the shops for more greetings cards, fluffy tat, chocolate, booze and frozen canapes?
Because we’re mugs!
If the British people are told to spend money, they just cannot resist. And in an era when the high street resembles an old Western ghost town with old crumpled till receipts floating like tumbleweed past the boarded shopping malls of our retail past – and we sit hunched over our mobile devices clicking the free delivery option before parcelling up yet another item to return, the greeting cards companies and inventors of useless gifts are desperately scrabbling to stay in business. So they convince us to celebrate these modern versions of the high holy day and we lap it up. We love it. I do understand the need to grab an opportunity to celebrate and have fun with the world on the brink of either environmental catastrophe or political annihilation but can’t they just lay off the hard sell? Give us a break!
As my precociously teenage son James has just asked me: “What has a flat screen TV got to do with Easter?” What indeed!
See you next week for some more humbug – unless I’ve cheered up of course. Happy St Patrick’s Day!
PS Just a quick reminder that my brilliant novel Black Moon is available to download now! So why not buy it as a gift to yourself to celebrate the clocks going back next weekend! Follow the link below…