Just Connery #atozchallenge

sir_sean_connery

CThose who know me well are aware that I very occasionally slip into a patchy impersonation of Sean Connery. Usually, it’s an attempt to take advantage of a sentence containing a lot of S sounds, but it’s also a tactic to fill an awkward (or otherwise) silence. For those that aren’t used to this, it can come across a little strange. And it is an odd habit; you could say an alarming psychological condition, a form of tourettes – or even tourettsh!

The fact is, you see, I LOVE talking like Sean Connery!

There’s something so expressive about it, as though you’re stretching your pallet – exercising every aspect of your speaking instrument. It’s not just the S sound becoming SH – which is of course perfect for cheap gags like…
“What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?”
“Tennish!”
…it’s also the languid drawl of the cultured Scotsman (and he is always Scottish, no matter what accent he’s attempting; even winning an Oscar as an Irish beat cop). It just feels so good.

Here are some examples to try at home:

Classic Sean:

Irish Sean:

Spanish Sean:

Singing Sean:

You can also just slip Sean into a conversation, if you don’t mind the odd questioning look. The easiest one is a Connery Affirmative when you are completely in agreement: instead of YES try YEEEEAARSH. Another one for the Connery Beginner, which can be added to the Connery Affirmative, is the Connery Qualifier: OF COORSH. It’s so easy and the whole family can join in.

From there, it can get more advanced. Perhaps I should offer evening classes, or start a school; a Con-dergarten! Or more appropriately, a Shunday Shchool.

Tune in tomorrow. D is for David.

Kraitt out.

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Author: Rob Kraitt

Rob Kraitt and writing partner, the irrepressible Ashley Pannell (creator of the successful video game franchise NAUGHTY BEAR) are possibly the greatest screenwriting partnership never to be produced! Their fairy tale extravaganza BEANSTALK went as far as Tim Burton - but not quite far enough! - and their madcap musical ME AND MY FROG was a winner in the now defunct UK Film Council's 25 Words Or Less Competition. Unfortunately for cinema goers everywhere, these and many other amazing movies never saw the light of a cinema projector. Rob is now an agent at Casarotto Ramsay and Associates Limited in London, representing writing and directing talent; and selling books for film & television adaptation. He has also served on the board of the Film Agency for Wales and participated on panels and masterclasses for the Edinburgh International Film Festival, the Writer’s Guild of Great Britain and the International Screenwriter’s Festival amongst others. He was also part of the BFI’s delegation to Shanghai and Beijing in 2015. Rob started his career as a script editor and consultant for many top film production companies in the UK including Working Title, Focus, Pathé Productions, Miramax and Ruby Films as well as the European Media Development Agency.

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